Anxiety, fear, nervousness, excitement, anticipation, hope… These were all the feelings that made my stomach turn at the thought I had become a student! I have always been considered as self-confident, determined, somewhat risky and daring personality, yet the new experience for me was more than simply exciting! I couldn’t fight against such negative thoughts as how I would feel far from home and my family and how I would get socialized into a totally new environment. Yet, in spite of all my worries, I looked and really felt happy! Neither my relatives nor my friends ever thought I had a fear inside me. They would say, “If I had the confidence you do, I would reach the world’s edge”! And as I wanted to look the same confident girl I had been during all the previous years, I played my role secretly hoping I would manage everything.
So, once the first day of my student life came, I assured myself that I was not the only person in my course who had secret fears inside. In any case all my course-mates were passing through the same experience I was. And believe me, this thought helped a lot! As our entire course was gathered in a huge auditorium for the Dean to give a speech to all freshmen of the year, I was late for the ceremony. “Investigating” the entire University in order to find the auditorium, I lost pretty twenty minutes. The moment I reached the hall I felt my heart sank. The Dean had already begun his impressive and heart-touching speech. After a couple of minutes of hesitation I bravely opened the door, greeted the Dean and took the first spare seat.No voice was heard in the entire auditorium except for my loud heart beating … well, at least for me. I rose my eyes and concentrated my whole attention on the Dean silently asking him to go on with his speech though after a couple of days I learned from my new friends that my “asking” looked like “commanding” much more! Anyway, the Dean slightly shook his head and continued his speech. In the end this man with a contradictory appearance (he had a short fat body and rough face features) stood next to me and told the audience he wished all of them had a bit of audacity in them to find their places in this life, yet they should by no means abuse that feature of theirs. Agree that nothing serious happened excluding the fact he said his last words looking straight into my eyes! Well, and except for my reed-like face complexion!
Anyway, after that “little” incident EVERYONE in the university knew me by face while I knew no one! Some students considered me an irresponsible student with bad manners and absolutely no brains (though I reassured them by studying free of charge for two years and managing to get scholarship all for excellent marks) while others thought I was a funny little thing who could become a truthful friend they could always rely on! By the way, the last category of students DID become my friends! They really understood that my impulsive behavior was a result of rather an anxiety than bad upbringing or poor individuality. Anyway, there were also many students who simply neglected me just the way I did and have been doing as there is no one who would be loved or hated by everyone.
After the classes of the first day were over, I was positively surprised that the two girls I was to share my room with were bright and smart personalities. We instantly got friends with each other. I enjoyed their teasing me with my “first entry” (they named that incident like that for a couple of months) while I enjoyed their true criticism. I wouldn’t say that everything between us went smooth. We were different personalities each with his own world viewing, yet that didn’t threaten our friendship. We loved to quarrel, to debate, sometimes to … fight…well, a bit. But eventually we always reconciled and laughed heartily at us! The reason for such quarrels could be different starting with a temporarily lost lipstick and ending with book or film discussions! We were all too emotional, lively and full of energy! So were all our friends in the university. We loved to pass time both from inside and outside the university together. And regardless the fact certain nerds considered us crazy and irresponsible buddies, we loved what we were and enjoyed every day of our studentship!